Doushite
by LxIsxJustice
Summary: Near knew he loved her, but he never did anything about it. Now, he knows fate will make him pay. Onesided NearxOC. Written for crazylittle person. Songfic.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, but I own my OCs. I also don't own "Doushite" or DBSK (Don't I wish though –drool-)**

**This fanfic was written for crazylittleperson. She wrote me a wonderful piece, and I'm now retuning the love.**

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_Doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattandarou  
Donna ni toki ga nagarete mo kimi wo zutto  
Koko ni iru to omotetta noni  
Demo kimi ga eranda no wa chigau michi_

A lone man walked on the sidewalk, eyes downcast, never meeting the curious gazes of the passerbyers walking hurriedly in the frigid night air. Everyone was in a hurry to get home to their families and get out of the cold, but he had no family to go to, nor did he notice the freezing air of winter.

He was clad in all white, his soft white hair fluttering in the wind. His wide black eyes stared down at the pavement, watching his feet move one after the other. That was how life was, he supposed, you had to keep going, despite the cold world trying to freeze the life from you.

"Near?" a soft voice floated through the stillness to his sensitive ears. He glanced up to see a pair of beautiful black eyes as deep as his staring back at him. He knew those eyes anywhere.

"Hello, K. It's been quite awhile hasn't it?" he spoke softly, almost slightly at the sight of his only friend from Wammy's. They had parted ways when he had left to take on the Kira case, and he hadn't seen her in years. The case was long solved, but he had never visited her. It wasn't because he didn't think of her; on the contrary, he thought about her all the time.

_Doushite kimi ni nani mo tsutaerarenakattandarou  
Mainichi maiban tsunotteku omoi  
Afuredasu kotoba wakatteta noni  
Mou todoukanai_

_Hajimete deatta sono hikara  
Kimi wo shitteita ki ga shitanda  
Amari ni shizen ni tokikonde shimatta futari_

He hadn't admitted it then, but he had been—and was still—in love with her. He thought back to Wammy's days when he had told her he would surpass L and then he would surprise her with something. She had squealed and begged to know what it was, but he wouldn't tell her then.

In truth, he had decided that once he became L and solved the Kira case, he would propose to her and they would start a life together. Near had often thought about all the ways he could ask her, but he had never quite gotten up the courage to tell her how he felt. He'd even gone to Mello, nearly desperate for advice, but the blond had scoffed and told him that Near was incapable of truly loving someone.

He gazed into her eyes as she laughed. "Near, you don't have to call me K anymore. I quit being a detective. You can finally call me by my real name without me yelling at you to keep quiet. Actually, I was hoping to get a chance to talk to you, but you changed your number awhile ago. I'm getting married!"

At that moment, Near's world, for once, was in complete chaos. He had grown so accustomed to the natural order of life his story had taken, but this was not in his plans as of late.

Married? She was getting married!? To whom? Why? When did this happen? All his questions bubbled to his lips, but he held his tongue. He continued to stare at her with emotionless eyes.

_Doko ni iku nori mo isshou de  
Kimi ga iru koto ga touzen de  
Bokura wa futari de otonaninatte kita_

Demo kimi ga eranda no wa chigau michi

Doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattandarou  
Donna ni toki ga nagarete mo kimi wo zutto  
Koko ni iru to omotteta noni  
Mou kaerenai

"I see. You must be quite happy, Kristen. Who is the fortunate groom?" he asked calmly. Inside, though, he was raging a war against himself. He desperately needed to tell her his feelings if he wanted any chance of being with her.

But…would that not be selfish, and wrong? He'd had plenty of time, but had wasted it foolishly, thinking he had to the end of time to tell her.

_Tokubetsuna imi wo motsu kyou wo  
Shiawase kao de tatsu kyou wo  
Kirei na sugata de kami sama ni negatteru kimi wo_

Boku janai hito no tonari de  
Shukufukusareteru sugata wo  
Boku wa douyatte miokureba ii no darou

"You remember Jordan from Wammy's? He proposed to me about six months ago, and I accepted. He always was a romantic, and I really love him so much," she smiled happily, and her words tore at Near's heart like rusty knives.

"Will you come to the wedding, Near? Of course I want my best friend to be there! You'll come , won't you?" she pleaded earnestly.

Near could not find the words to speak, lest he beg her to reconsider. So, he simply nodded.

"Oh, thank you Near! I can't wait! Here is an invite, I think it was fate that I saw you here!"

_Mou doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattandarou  
Ano koro no bokura no kokoro  
Mou modoranai  
Kangaeta (mou modoranai) kangaeta_

Doushite kimi no te wo tsukami ubaenakattandarou  
Donna ni toki ga nagarete mo kimi wo zutto  
Boku no yuko ni iru hazu datta  
Sono mama ni

"So do I, Kristen," he mumbled.

"Well, I have to go meet with the priest. I'll see you later at the rehearsel. Goodbye, Near!"

With that, she hurried off down the sidewalk, leaving Near cold and frozen, staring after her.

A single tear slid down his cheek as he watched his love disappear forever.

"Goodbye, Kristen."

_Sore demo kimi ga boku no soba hanareteite mo  
Eien ni kimi ga shiawase de iru koto  
Tada negatteru  
Tatoe sore ga donna ni sabishikute mo  
Sabishikutemo_


End file.
